Making ‘Roti’ in Indian Households : Whose Job Is It Actually?

The whole idea of nurturing the family with “Maa ke haath ki roti ” has very tactfully shifted the onus of making rotis, on the women of the house.

Who assigned women this permanent duty of sorts?

I had just wrapped up work and blissfully reading away random blogs in the late evening. And this particular post immediately made me wonder — “Are the rotis made for dinner yet”? Look at the irony. I am a 30+ year old woman, staying with my parents for a while and still look for my mom to get the roti ready for dinner, because -

1. I am very bad at making them and clearly not interested to master the art, whatsoever. (Will give details on the whole process and elaborate on why it seems like a frustrating task in the Indian kitchen.)
2. Dad does not know how to make them. (We will discuss more on this lack of gender parity, in this post ahead, without being judgemental of course.)
3. Mom always knows the best, and I am still her child after all. (The quintessential excuse for simply having your way, even at the cost of being responsible for burning out our own moms.)

Bad excuses, I must say!

Though I have never been demanding as a child, this somehow made me realise how selfishly ungrateful we’ve been to our moms, who must have made like a million rotis in their lifetime and still continue.

• Why is it only the responsibility of the woman to keep the rotis ready?
• Dynamics were different earlier. But, times have changed now. Why do I still see men waiting like helpless 10-year olds for the rotis to get prepared?
• Why does a man’s culinary skill make the woman lucky? Isn’t it supposed to be an equally responsible job in the household? Cooking is no rocket science after all!
• Why is cooking still a man’s liberty and a woman’s responsibility?

It is already 2020. And these questions are still relevant. Think about it.

What is Roti and its process of making?

A round flatbread, usually made with wheat flour, is referred to as ‘roti’ in India. This forms a major part of the carbohydrate intake in Indian diets, and can be consumed for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

The whole process of making a roti in an Indian household, can be broadly classified into 3 steps :

1. Kneading the dough -

The dough for rotis or chapatis is made with two key ingredients — wheat flour or atta, and water.

Once you mix the flour and water, knead using your knuckles and palm. Stretch the dough with your palms, bring it back with your fingers, knead with your knuckles and repeat till it feels soft. Now, this is an art and a proper exercise of your wrist, fingers and arms. Moreover it also builds your patience, because you have to keep kneading until the dough feels soft. Please note — it is important that the dough is smooth, soft and pliable, after this step.

2. Rolling out rotis -

This is undoubtedly, the trickiest part and comes only with practice and patience. There’s no second way for this step.

So, you have to take a lime-sized ball from the dough and flatten it on your palms. Then, start rolling the roti, using a rolling board and rolling pin. You need to move the rolling pin lengthwise across the dough applying gentle pressure as you roll. If you are rolling it correctly, the dough will move in circular motion on its own and the roti will roll evenly. Again, this comes with practice.

3. Cooking the rotis -

Now, you have to place the rolled roti, onto a hot tawa or skillet and cook for about a minute on both sides. You can then finish them on an open flame to puff them up. If you don’t have an open flame, you can press down gently with a cloth along the sides and they will start to puff up on the skillet.

Then, as a last step, to add some goodness, you can finish off the hot rotis by smearing them with ghee.

The time consumed in this whole process depends on your expertise.

One thing is constant for sure — after all the kneading, rolling and cooking on open flames, the body will get completely drained out and your own appetite will go for a toss.

Now, imagine a regular middle-class household of 4 members (including mom — the official roti-maker). Each person will have 4 rotis on an average (the numbers might go up to 8 in some cases, let me warn you), excluding mom. After all that cooking and lost appetite, she might end up having just 2 or 1 or maybe none.

That tallies the total intake to — (4 X 3) + 2 = 14 rotis per meal. By any chance, if the family likes to have rotis for lunch as well, then this number multiplies by 2–14 X 2 = 28. So, if you calculate an average, the number becomes — 28 X 30 = 840 (monthly) and 840 X 12 = 10,080 (annually).

Just imagine — the rotis are relentlessly being made in the Indian kitchens and mostly by our moms for years. Rest, you can do the math.

And trust me, the above illustration of numbers is on the lower end of the spectrum.

The real numbers are much higher!

Why is the process of making ‘Roti’ so frustrating, especially in Indian households?

As described above, rotis are the simplest part of any meal (taste-wise) with no fancy ingredients or unique cooktop arrangements required. The irony is that the simplest it is, the more cumbersome the process is. Though I love to eat those hot and fluffy soft rotis, I hate making them 10 times more. With the end product being so simple, you almost get the feeling that it is not worth all the efforts.

The compulsion

It is only obvious that when something is set as a mandatory rule of sorts, your natural instinct will always be to rebel against the coercion. With time, you either adapt or completely break free. It is a normal human tendency.

The household tasks are still very unfairly divided between the men and women. Certain tasks are supposed to be like mandatory jobs for the woman — for example : making rotis for dinner.

What if the woman doesn’t want to go through this ordeal one day, but still wants to eat home-cooked rotis? Does she have an option? I guess — NO.

The Indian climate

With the time and efforts put in the process of roti-making, the external environment also plays a major role. The Indian climate is mostly hot and humid, barring a few areas. And considering the over-population in this country, space crunch is a genuine problem, which leads to small-sized kitchens in the regular middle-class households. Mind you, I am not taking into account the lavish houses of the rich in the country.

So, clearly, standing in front of an open flame in a 10 X 10 sq ft. kitchen, in the hot and humid climate, will suck your blood out. Isn’t it strange that we hardly come across middle-aged women, wanting to eat 8 rotis in one go?

No wonder, a woman’s appetite goes for a major toss, after a certain age!

The unfair task distribution in Indian kitchens

Yes, times are changing. But still, when it comes to making those soft, fluffy and perfect rotis for the meal, the onus almost always lies on that one person in the household (either the wife or the mom). Considering the weather conditions and humongous efforts put in to make those rotis for the whole family every single day, it is obvious that the women get frustrated.

They might never acknowledge the real reason of their constant feeling of irritation out of nowhere, but this is a real reason.

Is Roti going to remain the staple diet for future generations?

There are many who might argue saying that — ‘it is not that big a deal’, ‘it doesn’t take so much time and effort after all, gets better only with practice’, ‘it is not a task for us, we do it out of love’ etc. etc.

I agree with all of the above. It might not be a big deal for you. You might have become a ‘super-woman’ (a term mostly misused). This must be taking hardly 10 mins for you now, after rigorous practice for years. You might be doing it out of love. And might want to be solely responsible for the nourishment of the family. You are most welcome to your own ways of living.

BUT, please do not force your principles on others. Don’t expect a woman to just continue doing what you have done all your life, just for the heck of it.

If she voluntarily opts for it, it is her wish. If she doesn’t want to, she has the freedom to live that wish of hers as well. Don’t cling on to her shoulders, and assign this as a mandatory task of sorts for her in the household.

Considering that food habits are changing with the current generation, the quintessential ‘rotis’ might soon become a dish confined to the festivals. Who knows!

If the new-age mother is nourishing her family without the rotis, PLEASE DON’T JUDGE HER. If she chooses not to enter the kitchen and the father is taking care of the rotis, then also please don’t judge her. Let people find their own tuning and lead a life of their own.

Our moms have always deserved this leverage. What we have not taken care of earlier, can be corrected now. Either participate equally, else stop playing the victim card if you don’t get the food of your choice.

That meal on your plate is equally your responsibility.

Due credits to MEN who act responsibly and contribute equally

I can never end this article, without giving due credits to men who have been ‘men’ in the real sense. Men have always been associated with chivalry and that chivalry stems from that real sense of responsibility. And such real chivalrous men do exist in today’s times. It feels refreshing to notice that so many men around me (especially from our generation), are equally involved in every household chore as the women.

They don’t believe in shirking work, with an excuse that ‘yeh hamara kaam nahi hai’.

Rather, I get irked with the baseless male-bashing in the name of ‘pseudo-feminism’. There’s a lot of difference in the gender dynamics today, as compared to 50 years earlier maybe. We have to give some leverage to men, since they were never groomed in an equally contributing setup in their own households. They are trying to be accommodating and learning only now that it is an equal partnership in the house. They will take their time to unlearn and learn and it is only imperative to give them a fair chance.

If the rotis are not cooked well by men, they can contribute by cleaning the dishes. But yes, before that, one needs to try their hands first. It is very escapist of anyone to shirk responsibilities by saying — ‘I don’t know how to do it’. Nobody gets to know anything by default, without the training. Just the way, you don’t know it, your partner might also not know it. So, why to assign a task unfairly to just one? Family is all about partnership and a partnership needs to function together.

Strangely, this task of ‘making rotis’ still remains a woman’s job in majority of the Indian middle-class households.

The self-realisation should happen right from the beginning. Maybe, the traditional households should change the way they have been functioning all these years. The kids can be groomed correct, only when they witness an equal distribution of work at home, right from childhood. Sadly, by the time we realize this, our moms have already touched 60 and lived most of their lives.

What can be the justification here?

• Is it the women who have themselves insisted that it is only women who are responsible for nourishment of the family?

• Is it the men who got away by saying that ‘we don’t know how to make it’ or ‘we can’t make it as good as you’ or simply ‘that’s not a man’s job’?

What’s your excuse?